My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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