Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
