Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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