Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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