just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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