You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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