i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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