I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
