I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
