I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
