I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
