I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
