I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
