2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
