all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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