Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
