The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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