Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
