Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize