you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
