i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm both gender and math confused
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize