You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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