Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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