and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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