just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
me + whiskey = a bad person
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize