You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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