someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
