We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
