I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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