HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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