6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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