I look better un-naked...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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