I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
