Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
