I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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