I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
