your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I deserve this hangover.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
