i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
