HIV tests are more positive than that guy
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
