Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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