escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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