In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
