Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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