I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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