Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
