can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize