Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
