Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
