i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize