We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
