fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
