Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
