I'm drive I can fine osifer
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
