i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize