Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
