I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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