so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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